Embracing the beautiful messiness of the holidays
Growing up, one of my favorite things about the holidays was going to my grandparents' house.
My mom is the second oldest of eight kids, and my dad comes from a big family, too. I grew up in Bellingham, Washington, where I swear half the town is related to me. Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I've said, "Oh yeah, that's my cousin!"
Needless to say, our family gatherings were pretty chaotic—in the best way.
My grandparents' last home was small, but somehow we all fit. Every room was decorated for Christmas, including an impressive collection of moving Santas that my grandpa absolutely loved. He was a big fan of animatronics, including Billy Bass! And they kept that house HOT. If I ever brought a friend along, I'd warn them to wear a tank top.
There was always plenty of food, cousins running around, presents to open, and board games that went late into the night. One of my absolute favorite memories is my grandma playing Balderdash and laughing so hard she couldn't read her answers. I can still picture her giggling, and it makes me smile every time.
I loved seeing the adults being silly and having fun together. As a kid, getting to stay up late and play games with everyone was the best.
We all helped clean up, too. Dishes got loaded into the dishwasher, the kitchen got put back together, and everyone pitched in. But what I remember most isn't the cleanup. It's how much fun we had and how happy everyone seemed to be together.
And I think that's a big part of why I love the holidays so much today.
Making Our Own Holiday Magic
I love decorating our house for Christmas. The tree, the lights, the music, all of it! Especially when it gets dark so early, I love how cheerful everything feels. If I could go full Clark Griswold with the Christmas lights, I probably would, but my practical side keeps me in check.
This year, we're hosting Christmas with Morgan's family, and I'm looking forward to having everyone here.
One of my favorite things is getting the guest room ready. I put up a little artificial Christmas tree and try to make the space feel extra special, especially for my nieces. I love those little touches that make everyone feel welcome.
Of course, hosting takes some preparation. I'm a big list maker (and yes, I check them twice).
Morgan and I divide and conquer. He handles most of the cooking, meal planning, and grocery shopping. I take care of the guest room and a lot of the decorating. And somewhere along the way, he became our designated floor mopper. I'm not complaining!
We make sure the bathrooms are clean, the kitchen is ready, and we keep the dishwasher running as we cook. Nothing particularly fancy, just the things that help us feel ready for company.
And because our home is organized in a way that works for us, getting it ready doesn't require a huge amount of work. Things have homes, so cleaning up is generally pretty straightforward.
That doesn't mean our house is always tidy. It just means we can put things away without having to figure out where everything goes.
A Little Organizing Goes a Long Way
One thing I've noticed working with clients is how stressful it can feel when you want to invite people over but don't feel comfortable with the state of your home.
I've worked with people who would love to entertain but haven't had guests over in years because of clutter. And I've seen what happens when company is coming and everything gets shoved into closets, drawers, or spare rooms.
It works in the moment, but then you can't find anything!
I don't think anyone needs a perfectly organized home to host a wonderful holiday gathering. But having some simple systems in place can make everyday life, and especially hosting, a whole lot easier.
Here are two little habits we practice at home around the holidays:
Make room for incoming gifts. Before Christmas, Kora and I go through her toys and clothes together. We look at what she's still using, what she's outgrown, and what she's ready to pass along. It's a great habit to get into with kids, and it helps make room for all those gifts from aunts, uncles, and grandparents.
Edit decorations as you go. When I'm pulling out our Christmas decorations, if I come across something that's broken or that I just don't love anymore, I let it go. There's no reason to pack it back up and store it for another year.
Neither of these things requires a big organizing project. They're just small ways to make life a little easier.
You Can't Get Mad at the Wind
Morgan has a saying: "You can't get mad at the wind."
Basically, some things are just out of our control, and there's no sense getting worked up about them.
Our house is generally pretty quiet. So when family comes to visit and suddenly there are three excited kids running around, things get loud! There are toys everywhere, extra dishes, and a lot more activity than we're used to.
But that's Christmas. The kids are excited, everyone's together, and I want people to feel comfortable and have fun.
And sometimes, all that mess and noise is actually a sign of something pretty wonderful.
I remember something my fifth-grade teacher said that has stuck with me all these years. She talked about how a messy dinner table, with food spilled here and there, could actually be a good sign. It meant people were enjoying themselves, going back for seconds, passing dishes around, and having a wonderful time together.
I don't know why that particular lesson stayed with me, but I've always loved the idea.
And I think it applies to so much more than the dinner table.
A kitchen full of dishes means everyone enjoyed a delicious meal. Toys scattered across the living room mean the cousins had a blast together. And a house that's a little louder than usual means people are laughing and enjoying each other's company.
Of course, we'll clean it all up. But we don't have to spend the entire gathering worrying about it.
You Don't Have to Do It All Yourself
One other thing I've also learned is that hosting doesn't mean you have to take care of absolutely everything.
Delegate!
If cooking the entire holiday meal feels overwhelming, ask people to bring something. Make it a potluck. Have someone pick up dessert. Let the kids help set the table. And when dinner is over, there's nothing wrong with asking someone to help load the dishwasher.
I think most guests are happy to contribute. And let's face it, they're probably a little relieved that they're not the ones hosting this year. Their house gets to stay clean!
The goal is to enjoy spending time together, not to be so exhausted from preparing and cleaning that you miss out on all the fun.
What Will You Make Room For This Holiday Season?
As I've gotten older, I've found myself wanting to simplify things. I have less patience for unnecessary stress, and I'm much more willing to let some things go.
That doesn't mean giving up the traditions I love. I still want the Christmas tree, the decorations, the holiday movies, the food, and the house full of people.
I just don't want to spend so much time worrying about everything going perfectly that I forget to enjoy it.
What I'm looking forward to most this year is having two weeks off with Morgan and Kora. No work, no school, sleeping in, staying up late, watching Christmas movies, and just being together. We'll finish the year in our cozy camper in Manzanita, one of my favorite places in the world.
So here's my question for you:
What are you most looking forward to this holiday season? And is there a tradition, expectation, or holiday to-do that's causing you more stress than joy?
Maybe there's something you can simplify, delegate, or let go of this year.
Because when I think back on Christmas at my grandparents' house, I don't remember everything being perfect.
I remember my grandma laughing so hard she couldn't finish a game of Balderdash.
And I wouldn't trade that memory for anything.
Happy holidays!
Jen